Umm I'm too high to move.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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