i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
