Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize