I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
