if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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