she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
