Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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