Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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