Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
