That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
