The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
