my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
