I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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