Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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