I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
