I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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