At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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