if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
