Pants 0. Shit 1.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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