Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
