haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
