this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
