Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
