her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
