I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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