we have pet lesbian snakes
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
This house was built for laser tag.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
