no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
