Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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