used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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