Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
