I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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