Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
