What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
