dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
