I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
