we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
