Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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