They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
