I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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