Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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