is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
