you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize