so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize