dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
