There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We're too hungover to prance.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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