she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
