thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize