i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
