hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
