at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize