there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize