you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
