i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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