Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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