I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
