I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Randomize
