evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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