I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
im on a boat
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