Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
