awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
