Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
